


Strange Highs and Strange Lows

by i_amthecosmos



Series: The Small Town Series [18]
Category: Bandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: 80's verse, Fingering, Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex, Topping, small town verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 12:13:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15557475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_amthecosmos/pseuds/i_amthecosmos
Summary: The early days of Liam and Louis's relationship, from Louis's perspective.





	Strange Highs and Strange Lows

**Author's Note:**

> I keep coming up with ideas for this. I don't know, it just keeps going. Title from Depeche Mode.

“Hey, want to go to Bob’s after we get out of work?” Louis was in Liam’s motel room, and it was less than a week after they had met. They were getting ready for work, and Liam was still shirtless. It made Louis want to lick his stomach, but they had things to do. 

“Um. Maybe. I guess I won’t mind having a beer at my bosses place.” Liam gave him that crooked smile, kind of half-hearted. Louis didn’t mind. After all Liam had been through, he was lucky to have that much heart left. 

“Okay. I’ll see you there. You don’t have to give me a ride to the bar, my younger sister is picking me up from work. She’s driving now.” 

“Oh. Okay. But I’m giving you a ride to work, right?” Again that nervous smile.

“Of course, if you want.” Liam could do what he wanted, after all. He didn’t owe Louis anything. 

“Sure,” he said. Then the smile dropped off his face, and he went to put his shirt on. Louis finished getting ready, and Liam was waiting by the door when he left the bathroom.

.

When they saw each other at Bob’s, Liam was fairly quiet. Louis sipped his beer and wondered if Liam was done with him. He seemed to be brooding, worrying over something. “So. What kind of music do you like?” Louis said, just to be saying something.

Liam blinked, looking like he’d forgotten Louis was there. “Oh. I like British music mostly. Some of the groups coming out now, from the South, like R.E.M.” Louis nodded. He’d seen them play once, and loved how into it their audience was.. “I like INXS, they’re Australian, but it’s kind of the same. And...” he trailed off.

“And what?” Liam had looked happy before, but now he seemed worried again.

“I was thinking about my dad’s records. He liked the Beatles, but also Mott the Hoople. Ever heard them?”

“One song. All the Young Dudes. David Bowie wrote it.” He’d heard the song on college radio, in Atlanta. He liked it.

“Yes. They wrote good songs of their own too. I just remember...listening to it in the basement with my father.” Liam looked like someone shot his dog then. “I...I wish I didn’t keep thinking about them.”

“I know.” Louis touched his arm. “I asked that question to lighten the mood. I’m sorry it didn’t work.” 

“Thank you anyway,” Liam said, and he sipped his beer. “I like being here,” he said. “I know it doesn’t look like it now, but I do. It’s nice to be somewhere where everyone is like us.”

“See, that’s the spirit.” Louis squeezed his arm. “We can be who we really are here. That’s what makes this place so great.” Then “Borderline” came on, and Louis jumped off the bars stool. “Come dance with me!”

“Um.” Liam looked panicked. “I can’t dance.” 

“Try. Just move with me. Come on, there’s only six people here.” Louis tried to grab Liam’s hand, but he just blushed and looked down. Louis didn’t know what to do, so he said “Okay then. I’m going to dance. You can join me if you want.” Then he left, 

As he danced to the music, Louis tried not to feel frustrated. Liam had just said he could be himself here, but he wasn’t ready to dance with a man. Or maybe he’d never danced in public. Who knew.

 _There’s lots about him that you don’t know,_ he thought. _You’ve fucked him every night for five days, and you just asked him what music he liked._ Gay people were shit at dating, Louis thought. Fuck first, ask questions later. 

Louis looked through his fringe then, and saw Liam at the bar, watching him. He looked peaceful, not upset or worried. Louis wriggled his hips a little more, staring right at him. Liam grinned then, and it didn’t look forced.

Louis figured then that it didn’t matter if Liam wasn’t ready to dance with him. He was still here. 

.

That night, Louis didn’t go to Liam’s hotel. “I’m going to spend a night at home,” he said, and Liam looked devastated. “I’ll be back but-remember what you said about needing some time a few days ago?” Liam nodded. “I kind of feel the same way. But don’t be surprised if I call you.” 

“Okay. Do you want a ride?” Louis nodded, and went to call his sister. They walked to the car, and the ride was quiet except for the radio. When they got to Louis’s apartment building, he squeezed Liam’s arm. Liam went stiff. They were outside the safe zone now, and he was uncomfortable. 

“Goodnight Liam. Get back safe.” Louis got out of the car and walked away. He didn’t need Liam to walk him to his door, he was a grown man. 

Louis got himself another beer, and watched reruns on TV while he tried to think about what the hell he was doing. Liam was repressed, had been closeted until very recently, and had lost his family and job. He’d told Louis that he was a mess, had tried to warn him away. But Louis couldn’t really leave. 

Right now, sitting in front of his cheap TV watching The Andy Griffith Show, he missed Liam down to his bones. Why was he doing this? He hadn’t had a lover since Rob. And didn’t that turn out just peachy. 

He went to his fridge and tried to find something for dinner. He hadn’t eaten since lunch. He wound up with some leftover McDonald’s fries and an apple. He needed to take better care of himself.

Who was he, to think he could take care of Liam? 

…

It wasn’t until after work that he saw Liam again. He was waiting outside the hair salon. Louis hadn’t asked him to come, and that was a surprise. “Hey,” he said, leaning down to the window of the car. Liam unlocked the passenger side, and he got in. 

“I’m sick of eating out,” Liam said as they drove. “But I can’t cook. No kitchen.” Louis thought it was time for him to leave that fleabag motel, but he didn’t say so.

“I can’t either. I have a kitchen but I’m not very good,” Louis said. “I’d fix you dinner if I could, but I need to go shopping.” 

“Where’s the store?” Liam didn’t seem put out by it. “Can you make anything?”

“I can make burgers without burning them. Sometimes.” Liam laughed at that. “We need to get there quick, the market doesn’t stay open very long. Go down the main street, and it’s on the left.” Louis wondered what else he could fix. Liam had a big appetite, to go with his muscled body. 

When they got to the little store, Louis got the cart and got the hamburger first, while Liam found the buns and ketchup. Louis got some cheese slices, and looked around for a side. He decided on a box of mac and cheese, and a can of green beans. He couldn’t mess those up.

He met Liam back at the registers, and that’s when he began to feel the stares leveled at the two of them. He looked at Liam, who didn’t seem to notice at first. Then he smiled at the cashier, and she scowled at him. 

Louis watched while Liam stared in horror, and then took over. “Hello, how are you doing today?” He said loudly, unloading the cart. “Thank you for greeting us.” The cashier said nothing, and just rang them up and bagged their groceries. They had made it nearly to the door when Louis heard it. 

“Faggots.” 

He didn’t turn around to see who it was, but he did look at Liam. All of the color had drained out of his face, and he’d gone still. “Don’t give them the satisfaction,” Louis said softly. “We’re going to walk out of here and get in the car. Okay?”

Liam gave him the barest of nods, and they walked out like they heard nothing. Liam’s hands were shaking when he started the car. “It’s okay. Drive when you’re ready,” Louis told him, voice still gentle. Liam looked over at him, bewildered, and took a few deep breaths. Then they got out of there. 

When they got to Louis’s apartment, Louis just grabbed the bags and Liam followed, still not saying anything. When they got inside, Louis shoved some laundry off the couch, and led Liam to it. “Sit down, get a hold of yourself. I’ll get you a drink if you want one.”

“Sure,” Liam said, sounding robotic. Louis put the food away, and got them both a beer. “I’ve got whiskey if you want something stronger.” Liam shook his head, and held his hand out. “There you are.” 

Liam drank about half the beer, then put it down, rubbing his forehead. “Do you need some Tylenol?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Liam said, sounding less detached and more just miserable. Louis got the bottle and sat it by Liam. “I’m sorry. That was tough for me.”

“I’ve heard it all my life,” Louis said, trying to lighten the mood. Liam just glared at him. “What? Just because you passed-”

“I didn’t pass as well as you seem to think,” Liam said, raising his voice. It was scary, and Louis took a step back out of instinct. “You think I always looked like this? In high school, I was thin, like you. With curly hair. I got bullied by everyone, and yeah, I heard that word a lot. Maybe the kids in school didn’t know, but they sure suspected.” 

Louis sat next to him, but didn’t try to touch Liam just yet. He was staring ahead, as if he was reliving the things he’d been through. 

“I went to summer camp when I was seventeen,” Liam said. “And everyone just...hated me. I remember I threw myself into sports, to have something else to concentrate on. I got a girlfriend there too, but I said I was a good Catholic, and we never did more than kiss. I just-made up a new me. And after camp, I put on muscle, finished high school, and joined the Marines as soon as I could. I thought it could change me.”

“But instead, your Sergeant found you,” Louis said softly. Liam wiped his eyes and nodded. 

“I don’t think I regret that. I know I should, because of what happened. But he taught me a lot. Sex, but more too. He was trying to teach me to be a better man. But then it all went to hell.” 

“You’re in a bad place now, partially because of him.” Louis moved closer, still not touching. Louis still thought Andy might have ratted Liam out, but he didn’t know for sure.”I’m sorry, that it brought all that back. That cashier has no room to talk, according to gossip.”

“Fuck gossip, I hate it,” Liam said. “I don’t want to treat anyone how I got treated. Not even her.” Louis didn’t say anything, but reached over and held Liam’s hand. Liam took it. “Thanks. For listening.”

“Of course.” Louis could feel how much Liam meant to him, even though he’d only known him for a week. It ached to see him so upset. “Want me to fix dinner now?” Liam nodded and finished his beer. “You stay here,” Louis said, taking the beer bottle with him. He heard Liam turn on the TV, and then he got to work fixing dinner. 

Thirty minutes and a lot of mess later, Louis came out with burgers that weren’t too rare or too dry, mac and cheese, and some green beans that he probably salted too heavily. “Here. Eat up. There’s more if you want it.” 

“Thank you. This is very kind.” Louis didn’t know what to say to that, the admission that he didn’t expect kindess anymore . Liam was watching baseball, which made Louis’s skin itch. He hated baseball in school, he was always in deep left field. Liam finished his plate, and put it on the coffee table. “I feel better now. Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”

“I don’t mind at all,” Louis said. “I want you to stay. You know I like you, having you around.” Liam frowned a bit at that, and Louis remembered that he was pushing, pushing too much. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to pressure you.”

“It’s okay. I know you want me to stay here.” Liam got up, taking his plate to Louis’s little kitchen. “You left all the dishes in the sink?” Louis groaned. Now Liam knew he was a slob. 

“I’ll get them later,” Louis said but Liam just stared at him like he was nuts. Then he started loading Louis’s dishwasher for him. That made him feel a little sloppy, even more so than the pile of clean clothes that were now on the floor. 

“You should clean up more,” Liam said. “You don’t want roaches in your apartment, they’re the worst.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, instead of _don’t tell me what to do_. He must really like Liam. “Want to come to my bedroom? We don’t have to fuck if you don’t want.” 

“Louis, we’ve had sex every night since we met, except last night,” he said, smirking. And well, Louis couldn’t argue with that. “If I don’t want to, I’ll tell you.” Liam took his hand, and they went back to Louis’s bedroom.

Liam stood in the bedroom door a moment. Louis saw it the way Liam did-the unmade bed, the magazines on the floor (porn and otherwise), more clothes. Then Liam pointed at the ironing board in the corner. “You don’t pick up your clothes, but you iron them?” 

“Well, yes. I’m not going to send them to my mom. I’m an adult. And I have to look nice if I’m going to pick up at Bob’s.” Liam turned around then, and Louis wondered if he said too much. “Um...”

“You do that a lot, then?” Liam raised an eyebrow. Louis felt a bit defensive, like he hadn’t picked Liam up, after all. 

“Yeah. I guess. I wasn’t actually looking when you came in, but...” Louis wondered if he was blushing. Liam wasn’t like him, after all. 

Then Liam pulled him closer, so Liam’s cock was right against his ass, and said “Tell me about it?” 

“Oh,” Louis said, followed by a nervous laugh. “You’re full of surprises.” 

“Is this okay?” Louis nodded, and Liam gripped his hip, pushing his cock closer. Louis could feel it getting hard in Liam’s jeans. “I’ve only been with one person, besides you. So, tell me about a good one?” 

“I...” Louis had to think about it. Most of his one night stands had been fun, but he didn’t think about them much after. He was always chasing the next one. Zayn had always said his sexual behavior was a bit compulsive. “One time, I was at Bob’s,” he started. “And a man came up to talk to me.”

“Yeah?” Liam had run a hand up under Louis’s shirt, and was rucking it up, hand moving up from Louis’s stomach to his nipples. “What did he look like?”

Louis closed his eyes. “He was cute. Dark hair. He was dressed like a businessman-not usual for Bob’s. He bought me a couple of drinks and told me a lot of stories about himself.” Louis smiled thinking of it. He had wondered at the time how much of what he said had been true. He guessed he’d never know.

“What happened when you got out of the bar?” Liam started pulling Louis’s shirt off, and Louis just put his arms up to help. Louis started to turn around, but Liam made a displeased noise and held onto his hips. Fine then.

“We went back to his place, which turned out to be an old farmhouse. I saw a lot of old pictures on the walls, and I honestly think it was either his mother’s or grandmother’s house. But he was the only one living there. It was strange.” Liam seemed a bit less turned on by that part. “Sorry.”

“That’s all right. But you went to bed with him?” 

“Yeah. We started kissing in the kitchen, and then we headed to his room. I remember...he just _loved_ my ass. He couldn’t get enough of it. He didn’t even wait to take my jeans off, he just shoved them down and ate me out while I was bent over the bed. It was amazing.”

“It’s a good ass.” Liam humped him again, and Louis bit his lip. This was...nice was the only word he could think of. They’d fucked many times, but this foreplay thing wasn’t bad. “So it was good?” 

“Very. I spent the night, which I usually didn’t do. He fixed me breakfast that morning, then he said he had to go soon, to drive back to Atlanta for business. I never saw him again.” He had sort of missed the guy. Later, he saw the house up for sale. 

Liam let go then, and Louis turned around. Liam took off his shirt, and toed out of his shoes. “Would you have gone with him again if he’d asked you?” 

Louis didn’t know what to say. This was past dirty talk now. “I don’t know,” is what he said, honestly. “If he’d stuck around, maybe I’d have made a friend out of him, like I did Zayn.” He had been a nice guy, if stuck on himself. “Why did you ask?”

Liam didn’t answer at first, but pulled Louis in for a kiss. “I guess I just wondered how unusual I am for you,” he said. Then Liam unzipped his jeans. Louis dropped to his knees, looking up at Liam.

“You’re pretty unusual. Unique, I’d say.” Louis sucked on Liam’s balls then, to keep him from asking any more uncomfortable questions. Liam sighed and put a hand on Louis’s head. Louis sucked the head of Liam’s cock, keeping the pressure light. 

“Okay, that’s enough,” Liam said after a while, and Louis pulled off. “What do you want?” 

“Honestly I don’t really know. What do you want?” Liam looked a bit guilty then. “What?” 

“Remember how I told you I was just with Hurley? He let me top, but only sometimes, to teach me how. Could you...you don’t have to fuck me, but, could you, um…?

“You want me to run the fuck.” Liam nodded, face pink. “Well, okay. I might not fuck you though. It’s not something I’m very good at.” Secretly, Louis was excited. 

“Never heard that term before. I like it.” Liam smiled at him, and laid back on the bed, his legs spread a bit. Louis stripped the rest of the way, then got on the bed. Liam looked up at him, anticipating whatever Louis had in store. 

Louis felt his brain freeze for a moment. Usually, he got ordered around, but now he had to think of something. Just when Liam’s smile faltered, Louis got an idea. He knee-walked up to Liam and put his cock near Liam’s face. “Suck me.” 

“Okay,” Liam said, voice soft, and he licked the head before sucking it in. Louis pulled away, then readjusted so he was closer, and tried again. 

“There you go,” he said as Liam moved down far on him, and didn’t gag. “You’re a good boy.” Liam made a noise around him. “Oh, you like that.” Liam just watched him, eyes big. “You’re okay?” 

Liam pulled off. “Yeah,” he said, and then tried to go back, but Louis moved away. “What are you doing?” 

“Thought you wanted me to run it,” Louis said, and Liam pouted. “Just want to try something else. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” Louis fumbled around, and got some lube and condoms. 

“Though you weren’t going to fuck me,” Liam said, pushing his legs apart further.

“I’m just trying to cover my fingers.” Louis put the condom over two of his fingers and lubed them. “I cut my nails, but I don’t want to scratch you.” It was also safe sex, as far as he could tell. It was hard to know what was right. He put those thoughts out of his mind now as he pushed one finger into Liam’s ass. 

“Oh. Yeah,” Liam said. Louis looked up, and Liam had his eyes closed. Louis moved slowly, not wanting to hurt Liam or do something he didn’t like. But Liam just sighed and moved with him as Louis finger-fucked him. After a minute, Louis started using his other hand to jerk Liam off. 

“Yeah,” Liam said, opening his eyes. He looked at him, the expression blissful. 

Louis almost panicked. This was a lot, too soon, Liam trusting him like this. But he fought it down. He didn’t want to disappoint Liam, not when he almost had him. He needed Liam in his life, to stay here. So he smiled back at him, and kept going. 

Liam moaned, losing himself in it, until he hitched a breath, and came over Louis’s hand and his stomach. “Oh.” Liam looked at him and grinned. “Thank you.” 

“My pleasure.” It was, Louis was painfully hard now. He took the condom off his fingers, and rolled on his back. “Come here, finish me off.” 

“Of course,” Liam said, and he crawled over Louis and kissed him enthusiastically. They kept kissing while Liam took him in hand. Louis came like a rocket, shaking with it, and Liam didn’t even let him up for air, just kept kissing him. 

“You’re the only man I’ve done that with,” Liam said. Louis stared at him. “I mean, kissing,” he said, turning pink again. Louis sighed. Fuck it, he was just going to say it.

“If I ever meet Hurley, I’m going to kick his ass.” Liam looked horrified, and pulled back. “I will, he shouldn’t have treated you that way. He fucked you silly even though he had authority over you, and he couldn’t even kiss you when he was doing it?” 

“Hey.” Louis narrowed his eyes, and Louis could see his hands curl, angry. “He was all I had, okay? And you shouldn’t judge. You’ve known me one week.”

“I have,” Louis said. “I know that. And I still want to keep you.” Louis watched as Liam’s fists uncurled and he collapsed next to Louis, his head on Louis’s shoulder. “So, you better get used to it, I’m not going to stop.”

“I want to sleep now,” Liam said, voice soft. “Can you clean us up? I’m tired.” Louis got up, deciding he’d let Liam duck the question, and went to the bathroom. When he got back, Liam was already asleep. He wiped Liam off, and then curled up next to him.

The next morning was hurried, they just got ready for work and went their separate ways. Louis went to his job, and pretended he didn’t know all of his clients were whispering about him and this new man who had come from nowhere. He just smiled, joked with them, and got his day over with. 

Small towns were all right, but everyone knew your business. Or they thought they did.

When Louis got off work, Liam was outside in his car, and Louis got in without thinking about it. Liam nodded at him, seeming a bit standoffish himself. “So, where are we going?” Louis said. Liam didn’t start the car, which seemed ominous.

“Well, I need to get my stuff out of the motel,” Liam said, and Louis’s heart sank. 

“Oh. Well, do you need help?” If Liam was going to go, Louis wouldn’t stop him. But he felt like he’d been stabbed somewhere, it hurt so much. “I mean, if you want to leave...”

“I’m not leaving town.” Liam looked over at him, and Louis stared. “I just found a new place to stay, that’s all. Ray, from work? He has a room available.” 

“You...” Louis had to remember they were in front of his job, and he couldn’t kiss Liam right there on the street. “You...why?” 

“Because you want me to,” Liam said, looking him straight in the eye. “You want me to, and nobody else wants me for anything. And I’ve got a job-Bob has already put me on the team permanently. I’ve got nothing to lose, except you. So I won’t go.” 

Louis felt like he couldn’t breathe. He just sat there, stunned. Liam was staying. He was staying for _him_. “Oh. Oh, good.” He couldn’t make any other words. 

Liam laughed. “So that’s okay?” Louis nodded. “Okay, we’re going to McDonald’s on the way to the motel, then we’re packing my stuff up and taking it to Ray’s. Wait-are you all right?”

Louis touched his face. He was crying. “I-yes, I’m fine. I guess I didn’t really think you would. Come on, let’s get out of here, my co-workers are staring.” They were, Louis could see Alice, the big country girl, watching him with nosy interest. Oh well. At least she wouldn’t mock him tomorrow. Maybe.

“Okay.” Liam started the car. “Louis, put on your seat belt.” Louis fumbled for it with numb hands. He must have been truly bewildered if he forgot that. Then Liam said, “Don’t worry, it’ll be all right,” and he started the car.


End file.
